Material: Oil paint, graphite, goldleaf on canvas
Size: 80 x 220 cm
It's a self portrait. In 1988-89 I lived and worked in Israel for a year as a florist, later that year I worked in a kibbutz as a volunteer. At the time I was a young woman of 22 years old. The man who assaulted me was Juta's partner, the woman who had the flower shop in a hotel. I lived in their house temporarily. The room where it happened was a long narrow bedroom which was my room, on the side were cupboards with louvered doors. You can see these louvered doors in the painting. I have a pendant with the Star of David on, this refers to my time in Israel and where it happened. I still stagger slightly on my legs, my hands together. The expression on my face is almost emotionless but also chaotic. I'm in my underwear, giving me 'exposure' but not completely. The color contrast is orange and blue, they are also cold and warm colors. I try to keep my cool (mainly blue) but my hands are painted in warm orange, that's where the energy flows just like my vagina.